A Prognisticator's Notebook

With the backing of the Oklahoma State Capitol, Henrynator, and Susan Savage, Kathy Taylor seems to be on track to take office as the next Mayor. In recent days, Kathy locked up whatever North Tulsa vote left, not voting Republican by not showing up. It will be a squeaker for her over LaFortune, who used the same Susan Savage Game Book four years ago.

What could be next for the Arena? A huge, 18,000 seat casino. Henrynator bails out Tulsa in exchange for his re-election. Pretty slick.

With a brand new shiny FOP endorsement, Miller is HOT. Corporate Tulsa crucified Corky for RTW. Neither have enough votes COMBINED to beat Bill.

LaFortune's campaign mojo is on simmer fade to black too. The "I am excited" line is sounding wearied, forced, and tired. I cringe everytime I hear it from someone else, especially another candidate. Brigitte, are you reading?

Girlfriend, your bank account is gonna get hammered playing their moneyed campaign game. You need another equation. But, your campaign sign is better looking than Medlock's butt-ugly, wordy, and awkward signs. And, I will roll your sign on BATMobile, when I finally get off my lazy ass.

I remember really cringing with embarassment when Scott Vosted, a long long shot Repug candidate, kept saying "I am a single guy," at the OSU-Tulsa forum in 2002. Man, it was painful and embarassing for the rest of us to be on the same stage as that pathetic single guy. I wanted to hide behind the curtins. I should have walked out to pee. It was like he's crying out for some chick to jump out of the audience to ask him for a date. UGH. The good, the bad, and the really ugly of Tulsa elections.

I also remember seeing Scott a few years later on a UPN TV show called, "Blind Date." Man, he was just as obnoxious on national TV, wearing a funny, floppy, Gilligan hat, and getting totally trashed and dumped by an equally annoying chick. I wish I had taped it for you fine readers. But, it's probably better he's not embarassed anymore. Scott is not a bad looking guy. But, a screw is loose somewhere.

LaFortune looked a bit weary, but quite the cool cat, at the Greenwood CC Forum, like he was resigned to the inevitable. So far, no one from Tulsa's Corporate Mafia has dared to really piss him off with the RTW question, since he has 99% of the big union votes locked up. Man, if he gets that question, he's gonna really lose it. And, I am gonna leave the room to take a pee.

The constant barrage of crimemongering, especially on KFAQ, is killing him. Of course, the writing was already on the wall on 11 December 2002, when the FOP called the man a liar. He's got enough votes to nab the primary. That's it. After that, Kathy's people will eat his lunch.

Man, the Kathy train is even more massive than LaFortune four ago. Count how many big bad-ass engines she's got. And, no unions. No pesky RTW questions. If she gets that it would be very easy to fluff, sound upbeat, and give them what they want to hear.

She's confident, sitting real pretty, and lovable. So, why did she sound and look real strained at the Charles Page Forum? PMS? After the primaries, man, oh man, she's gonna come out swinging, pimped full of big big money. Picture the Incredible Hulk.

Kathy TV looks like a Henrynator ad. Folksy, down-to-earth, personal. But, bad hair.

Every Tom Baker, Bob Dick, and Henry-wannabe's will be throwing wads and wads of cash at her feet. Anyone here from the Nazi Republic of America?

FERCHRISTSAKES, Kathy has the whole State of Oklahoma political apparatus, based out of the Governor's Mansion and the State Capitol office of Susan Savage, Secretary of State, towing her train. It's almost like W's $50 million campaign blitzkreig back in 2000. Meet your new boss, The Honorable Kathy Taylor, Tulsa. Same as the old boss.

Medlock is popular with ORU kids, but, not ORU admin, which is supporting Miller. There's not enough new grassroots Repugs to pull for Medlock. Whatever Repug vote not going to LaFortune is split between M and M. Basic math.

Miller has to be one of the worse fit for Mayor in recent memory. Tulsa is not exactly a big time town. But, it is a top 50 American city in terms of population. The Mayor needs chutzpah. Miller is a mensch. She seems to have some kind of an inferiority complex creating this weird need to get along with EVERYONE. Even going so far as publically admitting at the Repug forum she's made some bad choices for the taxpayers and standing by them. A competant politician always spins mistakes into a good thing.

She should practice insulting someone in public once in a while. Like flip the bird at me. THAT would be gold!

She also needs to get another photographer and PhotoShop artist. She is much better looking in person than her web pictures suggest, much trimmer legs than when I first met her in Council. Oh my goodness. The picture on her flyer is awful and pixelated.

Where Kathy is making the wise choice of going from Versace to frumpy KMART, Miller would do well to go from Webster boring to at least some crisp navy blue Ann Taylor with clean lines. Lose those big-ass collars already. Experiment with a Maia Weaver hairdo.

To cut an edgier look, she would really do well in artsy fartsy Charlotte Rouse. I would hire her as a my Council liason/representative and Special Arbitrator whenever disputes between developers and neighborhood associations erupt.

Richard Roberts, in his infinite wisdom granted by the grace of the Almighty Chimp, has a big hand in the LaFortune primary win, and Taylor the General victory. Way to go, Mr. Roberts. Chimp, get it? As in intelligent design. Like duh. Pay attention, FERCHRISTSAKES.

Just a friendly tip to other big wig Tulsa kingmaker wannabe's. Don't make a political call for the withdraw of candidates AFTER they've filed. That's just plain rude. Another proof positive case study for the seperation of church and state.

I remember just about every candidate and half the town in the know laughing at Carlton Pearson, behind his back, back in 2002 for getting scammed on a billboard deal in Bixby. LaFortune couldn't get enough of that story and would laugh out loud, well, at least out of earshot of Carlton. If someone wants to laugh at me, I rather they do it in my face. Laughing behind people's back is just plain rude.

I am hoping for at least 1,000 votes, just a tad bit better than the 857 from 2002, by nabbing the ex-Medlock votes. I am Medlock, on meth.

I wonder if Kathy has a job for me. The anonymous guy who's always around, smiles alot, very polite, never obtrusive, annoying, or smelly. I could be her advance man, videographer, publicist, all-around gofer, and bodyguard. I just have to look at someone real funny and they usually back off, quick. Something about guys who look like Bruce Lee. In jail, I noticed black guys would never mess with me.

I am also great at analysis, psych ops, and opponent paralysis. I am the perfect serial plagarist and copywriter. Take someone's slogan, schwag, copy, and alter it to the client's advantage.

If someone is signing a good paycheck for me, I can get behind the scenes, real quick, with mostly mindless and harmless cloak and dagger stuff to mess with an opponent's mind. The CIA might recruit me. But, no way I am gonna be government property again. Ugh, been there. Done that as Uncle Sam's Misguided Child.

If not a job in the Kathy Administration, I'll be back in 2010. But, prowling around at night like a cat burglar, freezing my ass off, looking for occupied homes, annoying my neighbors with the signature collection scam is getting a bit old. Oh, what am I saying? I'll probably run again, until I get it right, or they arrest me.