In 2002, Greater Tulsa Area Realtors banned Rev. Goodwin and I from their debates.
In 2006, GTAR bans Chris Medlock.
Who will they ban next?
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade-unionist, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade-unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak for me.
---Reverend Martin Niemoller
I will attend the Greenwood Chamber of Commerce Debate, 9 February, 1900. Hutchinson YMCA. I remember this debate had a small attendance. But, I did note the Tulsa Association of Black Journalists will be represented. Interesting. They weren't there in '02.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Don't Pix And Drive
Tulsa, OK--To maintain public safety during the operation of the BATMobile, Bike Across Tulsa Mobile, Paul Tay, Independent candidate for Tulsa Mayor, urges motor vehicle drivers who wish to take pictures observe the following safety suggestions:
1. Do not try to take pictures while your other hand is on the steering wheel and your vehicle is moving.
2. Drive ahead, pull off into a driveway or side street, and stop completely before taking pictures.
3. Always stop completely and make sure there is ample time during the signal cycle before taking pictures while stopped at a red light.
4. Tip often and generously.
The BATMobile project seeks to make Tulsa's elections and political process as compelling and entertaining as "Survivor," "American Idol," and other entertainment sources that compete for the public's attention.
Along with regular, paid advertising, BATMobile is carrying these public service messages: FREE RIDE 585 5571, SLOW COP AHEAD, and SHARE THE ROAD IT'S THE LAW.
BATMobile will display AMBER ALERT, when an Amber Alert is issued while BATMobile is operating, normally during daylight hours.
"I hope drivers relax, slow down, and enjoy the spectacle of the elections played out live on the streets and highways of Tulsa," says Tay.
1. Do not try to take pictures while your other hand is on the steering wheel and your vehicle is moving.
2. Drive ahead, pull off into a driveway or side street, and stop completely before taking pictures.
3. Always stop completely and make sure there is ample time during the signal cycle before taking pictures while stopped at a red light.
4. Tip often and generously.
The BATMobile project seeks to make Tulsa's elections and political process as compelling and entertaining as "Survivor," "American Idol," and other entertainment sources that compete for the public's attention.
Along with regular, paid advertising, BATMobile is carrying these public service messages: FREE RIDE 585 5571, SLOW COP AHEAD, and SHARE THE ROAD IT'S THE LAW.
BATMobile will display AMBER ALERT, when an Amber Alert is issued while BATMobile is operating, normally during daylight hours.
"I hope drivers relax, slow down, and enjoy the spectacle of the elections played out live on the streets and highways of Tulsa," says Tay.
"25 To Life" Sucks, Got Boner?
Tulsa, OK--Independent Candidate for Tulsa Mayor Paul Tay expresses his concern about a newly released video game, "25 To Life." The game is a simulation program to practice killing police officers.
"Though Eidos, the maker of the video game, has their First Amendment right to produce and market "25 To Life," killing cops is not a game. I urge Tulsans not to purchase or play the game. We have the right to send a message cop-killing has no place in the marketplace or our thought processes, especially after receiving a traffic ticket for bicycling on the Broken Arrow Expressway," says Tay after exiting the BA offramp at Harvard on his bike.
"Though Eidos, the maker of the video game, has their First Amendment right to produce and market "25 To Life," killing cops is not a game. I urge Tulsans not to purchase or play the game. We have the right to send a message cop-killing has no place in the marketplace or our thought processes, especially after receiving a traffic ticket for bicycling on the Broken Arrow Expressway," says Tay after exiting the BA offramp at Harvard on his bike.
Courtesy Airtime on PIMP-AM Radio For All Candidates
Tulsa, OK--Independent candidate for Tulsa Mayor, Paul Tay, will provide courtesy airtime for all Tulsa political candidates on PIMP-AM radio.
The offer is available for all Mayoral candidates until 7 March. All other candidates until 4 April. Candidates who take advantage of this offer are required to obey Tulsa Revised Ordinance 51 3102.16 and keep their campaign signs off the public rights-of-way.
The audio should be exactly :30 seconds long, in WMA or MP3 format, e to pimpthistownvotepaultay AT yahoo (dot) com. On board the world's most effective advertising platform, PIMP-AM broadcasts to radios within 1/4 mile radius of Bike Across Tulsa Mobile, BATMobile, while rolling on Tulsa's streets.
PIMP-AM complies with all provisions of FCC Part 15 rules for intentional radiators. Frequency to be determined. Stay tune to this post.
"The high cost of commercial radio advertising and TRO 51 3102.16 significantly deprives candidates of their ability to publicize their campaigns. PIMP-AM allows the candidates to speak to their constituents directly on their car radios, bypassing illegal street signs and the clutter of commercial, corporate radio. Even podcasts can be pimped," says Tay as he downloads a client's file onto a flash drive at his campaign headquarters.
The offer is available for all Mayoral candidates until 7 March. All other candidates until 4 April. Candidates who take advantage of this offer are required to obey Tulsa Revised Ordinance 51 3102.16 and keep their campaign signs off the public rights-of-way.
The audio should be exactly :30 seconds long, in WMA or MP3 format, e to pimpthistownvotepaultay AT yahoo (dot) com. On board the world's most effective advertising platform, PIMP-AM broadcasts to radios within 1/4 mile radius of Bike Across Tulsa Mobile, BATMobile, while rolling on Tulsa's streets.
PIMP-AM complies with all provisions of FCC Part 15 rules for intentional radiators. Frequency to be determined. Stay tune to this post.
"The high cost of commercial radio advertising and TRO 51 3102.16 significantly deprives candidates of their ability to publicize their campaigns. PIMP-AM allows the candidates to speak to their constituents directly on their car radios, bypassing illegal street signs and the clutter of commercial, corporate radio. Even podcasts can be pimped," says Tay as he downloads a client's file onto a flash drive at his campaign headquarters.
Dear President Bush: Hitler is on the loose. Draft me.
Tulsa,OK--Independent candidate for Tulsa Mayor, Paul Tay, calls on President Bush to re-instate the draft to send a not-so-subtle message to Iran of the seriousness of their moves toward nuclear technology.
To reinforce that messge, Tay will conduct all campaign operations wearing a battle dress uniform, jungle woodland pattern. During on-street operations, Tay will use the civilian replica of a military bicycle. When receiving 911 calls from concerned motorists who might mis-construe his intentions, Tay requests the Tulsa Police Department to stand down.
"I have no intentions of destroying the democratic system of government that allows village idiots, terminally undesirables, and convicted felons, like me, to run for office and vote. The President of Iran has made aggressive messages that reflect the mood of his country. Americans should not allow the rise of an Islamic Hitler to blitzkreig Isreal and conduct genocide. Besides, the BDU is simply more comfortable for conducting the upcoming intensive campaign operations required to win the election. And, Santa has left town for colder climates and the mommy and daddy of the 2006 Easter Bunny hasn't done the dirty yet," says Tay, outside his campaign headquarters.
To reinforce that messge, Tay will conduct all campaign operations wearing a battle dress uniform, jungle woodland pattern. During on-street operations, Tay will use the civilian replica of a military bicycle. When receiving 911 calls from concerned motorists who might mis-construe his intentions, Tay requests the Tulsa Police Department to stand down.
"I have no intentions of destroying the democratic system of government that allows village idiots, terminally undesirables, and convicted felons, like me, to run for office and vote. The President of Iran has made aggressive messages that reflect the mood of his country. Americans should not allow the rise of an Islamic Hitler to blitzkreig Isreal and conduct genocide. Besides, the BDU is simply more comfortable for conducting the upcoming intensive campaign operations required to win the election. And, Santa has left town for colder climates and the mommy and daddy of the 2006 Easter Bunny hasn't done the dirty yet," says Tay, outside his campaign headquarters.
Free Wi-Fi At The TulsaNow Mayoral Forum
The first Mayoral Forum opened to all candidates, sponsored by TulsaNow, will feature free wi-fi. Needless to say, the candidates will use their wi-fi laptops as crib sheets, to IM their handlers, the audience, and anyone else in the world interested enough to tune in.
Of course, pimpthistownvotepaultay on yahoo messenger will be enabled to chat with the live audience, other candidates, and other interested parties. Live webcam from my seat will webcast too. Pretty kewl, eh?
If you AIM, I will try to log on votepaultay. But, for some reason, I have never been able to log onto AIM at OSU. I am not sure why yet. Got any ideas?
Of course, pimpthistownvotepaultay on yahoo messenger will be enabled to chat with the live audience, other candidates, and other interested parties. Live webcam from my seat will webcast too. Pretty kewl, eh?
If you AIM, I will try to log on votepaultay. But, for some reason, I have never been able to log onto AIM at OSU. I am not sure why yet. Got any ideas?
The Arena Will NOT Be A White Elephant Under My Watch
1. Replace the third-party management company with property managers already employed by the City. The Arena Area Advisory Committee, consisting of citizens nominated by the Mayor, confirmed by City Council, will advise the appropriate City officials. I've already nominated Michael Bates to chair this committee.
2. Designate the Arena as the Official Residence and Office of the Mayor.
3. Make a $1.5 million initial capital investment in equipment to be made available for rental by private film production companies.
4. Offer independent film productions with at least $2 million budget the use of the Arena, if the production uses Tulsa in at least 50% of its location shoots.
5. Produce a TV reality show in the Arena for cable Pay-Per-View, fee-based webstreaming, and live audience, similar to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," involving a lucky contestant from Tulsa's sex offenders' list. All 18,000 seats will be auctioned on VegBay.com for the live audience. Name of the reality TV show: Who Wants To Be A Dead Man?
6. Plagarize the works of award-winning author Frank Chin. Draw him out in a nasty public fight on the web newsgroups. Produce Chicken-Cooped Chinaman: The Stand-up, the Opera, and the Musical. Challenge Mr. Chin to a boxing match at the Arena. Award-winning author versus The Mayor. The loser performs his latest work, in the buff, to a small live audience. No photography allowed. Auction tickets on VegBay.com.
7. Make Tulsa the Sumo Capitol of America.
8. Roll Bike Across Tulsa Mobile(BATMobile), on the streets of Los Angeles, Cannes, France, and other venues, during entertainment industry events, displaying the sign: SHOOT TULSA.
2. Designate the Arena as the Official Residence and Office of the Mayor.
3. Make a $1.5 million initial capital investment in equipment to be made available for rental by private film production companies.
4. Offer independent film productions with at least $2 million budget the use of the Arena, if the production uses Tulsa in at least 50% of its location shoots.
5. Produce a TV reality show in the Arena for cable Pay-Per-View, fee-based webstreaming, and live audience, similar to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," involving a lucky contestant from Tulsa's sex offenders' list. All 18,000 seats will be auctioned on VegBay.com for the live audience. Name of the reality TV show: Who Wants To Be A Dead Man?
6. Plagarize the works of award-winning author Frank Chin. Draw him out in a nasty public fight on the web newsgroups. Produce Chicken-Cooped Chinaman: The Stand-up, the Opera, and the Musical. Challenge Mr. Chin to a boxing match at the Arena. Award-winning author versus The Mayor. The loser performs his latest work, in the buff, to a small live audience. No photography allowed. Auction tickets on VegBay.com.
7. Make Tulsa the Sumo Capitol of America.
8. Roll Bike Across Tulsa Mobile(BATMobile), on the streets of Los Angeles, Cannes, France, and other venues, during entertainment industry events, displaying the sign: SHOOT TULSA.
Third Penny Package
I remember back in the day when the GOB sold us the Third Penny by telling us how crummy the streets are. Well, folks, how long ago was that? And, we are still complaining about crummy streets, especially during elections. The Third Penny was supposed to be for infrastructure improvements. But, when crap like the following sample projects get on the list, I am saying NO, HELL NO.
REMOVE:
#2: $625,000 Police Handgun Replacement. Move to General Fund. Replacement programs of sundry items relevant to public safety not subject of elections and politics. What's next on this list? Bullets?
#5: $18,000,000 Police Car Replacement Program. How many cops on bicycles will $18 million buy? Do we want more cops on the streets or more cop cars? You decide.
#6: $12,800,000 Fire Department Apparatus Replacement. Move to General Fund.
#11: $4,000,000 EMS Apparatus and Equipment Replacement. Move to General Fund.
#12: $1,395,000 Upgrade City Computer Capabilities. Move to General Fund.
#13: $2,500,000 Network Hardware and Software Replacement. Move To General Fund.
#26: $1,150,000 Brady Village Implementation Plan. Bicycle drivers fare best when they are treated and act as legitimate operators of vehicles. No improvements for bikeways routes by segregating bicycles away from Denver and Archer. By both City ordinance and Oklahoma State Statues, bicycles are considered traffic. Separate ain't equal. "BIKE ROUTE" signs are like "COLORED ONLY" signs. Say NO to additional roadway modifications specifically for bicycles. Pedestrian projects ok.
#51: $4,500,000 Trails Development Program. No on-street bike routes needed. Bicycles share the same roadways as other vehicles.
#34-45: $60,260,000 Street Widening Projects. Street widenings increase traffic congestion. Build it. They will come and come and come. Do we want Tulsa to be nothing more a huge concrete parking lot? Subsidize mixed-use transit-oriented developments instead.
#80: $38,100,000 Capital Equipment Replacement. Move to General Fund.
ADD:
$10,000 City Department-wide survey to eliminate the need for the Third Penny Sales Tax.
$60,260,000 Transit Projects. Increase coaches, reduce wait times, and coordinate traffic light timing to improve system efficiency.
$4,000,000 Subsidy to new small businesses in tax-free enterprise zones in select Downtown and North Tulsa locations.
$500,000 Bicycle racing track at Mohawk Park.
$500,000 Brady Village Transit-Oriented Development Plan.
$1,500,000 Film production equipment for rental by private firms.
REMOVE:
#2: $625,000 Police Handgun Replacement. Move to General Fund. Replacement programs of sundry items relevant to public safety not subject of elections and politics. What's next on this list? Bullets?
#5: $18,000,000 Police Car Replacement Program. How many cops on bicycles will $18 million buy? Do we want more cops on the streets or more cop cars? You decide.
#6: $12,800,000 Fire Department Apparatus Replacement. Move to General Fund.
#11: $4,000,000 EMS Apparatus and Equipment Replacement. Move to General Fund.
#12: $1,395,000 Upgrade City Computer Capabilities. Move to General Fund.
#13: $2,500,000 Network Hardware and Software Replacement. Move To General Fund.
#26: $1,150,000 Brady Village Implementation Plan. Bicycle drivers fare best when they are treated and act as legitimate operators of vehicles. No improvements for bikeways routes by segregating bicycles away from Denver and Archer. By both City ordinance and Oklahoma State Statues, bicycles are considered traffic. Separate ain't equal. "BIKE ROUTE" signs are like "COLORED ONLY" signs. Say NO to additional roadway modifications specifically for bicycles. Pedestrian projects ok.
#51: $4,500,000 Trails Development Program. No on-street bike routes needed. Bicycles share the same roadways as other vehicles.
#34-45: $60,260,000 Street Widening Projects. Street widenings increase traffic congestion. Build it. They will come and come and come. Do we want Tulsa to be nothing more a huge concrete parking lot? Subsidize mixed-use transit-oriented developments instead.
#80: $38,100,000 Capital Equipment Replacement. Move to General Fund.
ADD:
$10,000 City Department-wide survey to eliminate the need for the Third Penny Sales Tax.
$60,260,000 Transit Projects. Increase coaches, reduce wait times, and coordinate traffic light timing to improve system efficiency.
$4,000,000 Subsidy to new small businesses in tax-free enterprise zones in select Downtown and North Tulsa locations.
$500,000 Bicycle racing track at Mohawk Park.
$500,000 Brady Village Transit-Oriented Development Plan.
$1,500,000 Film production equipment for rental by private firms.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Dr. TayLove or How to stop worrying and learn to love convicted felons, village idiots, and the terminally undesirable
Ok, people, you asked for it you got it. Here's the Official Website/Blog For The Paul Tay For Mayor Campaign 2006. You got questions, I got answers.
Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Elect Paul Tay Mayor of Tulsa:
10. From his experience in the U.S. Marine Corps Officers Candidate School, Quantico, VA, he can turn ANY bad situation into a good thing.
9. Read his lips: The Arena will NOT be a white elephant on my watch.
8. He will lead the City Council as its at-large member. Leave the Charter alone already!
7. After taking care of the basics, better streets, more police officers where crime occurs, and enforcing the no spitting ordinance, he will invest in technologies and policies to make city operations more efficient, City employees skinnier, and the Third Penny dead.
6. Corporate welfare for small businesses that relocate to enterprise zones in select Downtown and North Tulsa locations, not American Airlines.
5. Demand Bixby, Owasso, Broken Arrow, and Collinsville pay their fair share of their tax base back to Tulsa for benefits received because of the Regionalism policies.
4. He will be the best Mayor for Tulsa, not the best Mayor of Tulsa Jenks has ever had. In 2010, Tulsa will be a chocolate chip city, because of the monthly Mayor's Happy Hour, 4-7 p.m., serving chocolate chip cookies, java, and cheese whiz, on the last Friday of the month. Get it? Chocolate chip city? (Ok, this one bombed.)
3. Make Tulsa the number one tourist attraction for young professionals by implementing the "Make Tulsa Weird" campaign, similar to Keep Austin Weird.
2. He will personally make the Mayor's Report to City Council, unless there is a conflict with the Mayor's Monthly Bike Ride with Student Council Presidents of Tulsa's high schools. Then, Don McCorkell, Vice-Mayor, will be required to forego his happy hour at Baxter's and fill-in.
1. YOU WILL HAVE MORE SAFE SEX. (Reader Discretion Advised: Link May Not Be Suitable For Work, School, Or Government-owned terminals.)
Questions Submitted by Tulsa Today:
1.) Define Tulsa in 10 words or less.
Great for families, boring for young professionals.
2.) Define your vision for Tulsa’s future.
Make Tulsa the number 1 tourist destination for young professionals. Make the Arena profitable for Tulsa taxpayers. Make Tulsa Weird, modelled and plagarized, after the Keep Austin Weird campaign.
3.) How do you plan to pimp this town?
A. Stop with stupid, annoying TV and radio campaign ads already! You might get stuck behind a bicycling Santa with a “Santa For Mayor” sign for about ten seconds while driving, but there will be no annoying TV or radio ads from this campaign. Your campaign contributions pay for BATmobile fuel: cold horchata, hot tamales, and bananas.
B. Enforce Tulsa Revised Ordinance 51 3102.16 prohibiting street signs on the public right-of-way, or repeal it. There will be no illegal street signs from this campaign. While we are at it, let’s repeal the ordinance prohibiting the waving of the American flag while riding a bicycle, TRO 37 1007. But, keep the anti-spitting rule, TRO 27 1213, in place. Spitting in public is so gross!
C. The Arena will NOT be a white elephant on my watch. I will stake the reputation of the City of Tulsa, the success of my administration on the success of the Arena.
Get a real plan to make the Tulsa Arena profitable for the taxpayers who footed the construction bill, not some cheap-ass scam to make millions for a few, select powerbrokers.
Move the Mayor's Office out of City Hall and into the Arena, which will also serve as the Official Residence of the Mayor.
Fire the current management company, SMG, which also manages Tulsa’s competing venue, OKC Ford Center. That's like hiring Mike Case to manage your cheap-ass West Tulsa rat trap.
Organize a homegrown management team accountable to no one, except Tulsa taxpayers. Convene the Arena Area Advisory Committee, headed by MIT graduate, Michael Bates, to develop a neo-traditional, walkable, transit-oriented, mixed-use development surrounding the Arena.
Court sports entertainment, and corporate venues no other cities have courted.
Make Tulsa the Sumo Capitol of America.
Use the Arena as a film production studio, between major venues.
Identify under-used City-owned vehicles, convert them to artcars, and auction them on VegBay to raise $5 million to purchase world-class film production equipment to rival Dallas.
Offer independent film productions with at least $2 million budget the use of the Arena, if the production uses Tulsa in at least 50% of its location shoots.
Produce a TV reality show in the Arena for cable Pay-Per-View, fee-based webstreaming, and live audience, similar to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," involving a lucky contestant from Tulsa's sex offenders' list. All 18,000 seats will be auctioned on VegBay.com for the live audience. Name of the reality TV show: Who Wants To Be A Dead Man?
Plagarize the works of award-winning author Frank Chin. Draw him out in a nasty public fight on the web newsgroups. Produce Chicken-Cooped Chinaman: The Stand-up, the Opera, and the Musical. Challenge him to a boxing match at the Arena. Award-winning author versus The Mayor. The loser performs his latest work, in the buff, to a small live audience. No photography allowed. Auction tickets on VegBay.com.
D. Tulsa Energy, Transportation, and Employee Healthcare Policy: Every Tulsans eligible for initial tax incentives to install equipment to generate their own electricity. Every City building significantly reduces purchased electrical service. Encourage City employees who travel less than 3 miles for official business and don’t carry a load more than 15 pounds to walk or drive a bicycle. Use Tulsa Transit when possible. Cut utility rates by adopting Salem, Oregon's metered trash system. The more you pitch the more you pay.
E. Kids’ Critical Mass To Improve Education: On the last Friday of every month during the summer, set up a tent on Memorial. Offer cold horchata, hot tamales, and GTA on PSP big screened on the LCD. U with me? Listen to what kids say about their schools and bring their concerns to the attention of Tulsa Public School management.
F. A Mayor For The People, Not The Power Brokers: Again on the last Friday of the month, switch jobs with another City employee. Mayor’s monthly Lunch Lottery: Submit your name in a lottery to have lunch with the Mayors. Mayor's Happy Hour, 4-7 p.m. I want to make Tulsa a chocolate chip city. Drag your six into City Hall, get all the chocolate chip cookies you can stuff into your grocery bag, drink all the java you like, and leave a can of food for John 3:16. Invite Tulsans to the monthly midnight bike ride with the Mayors.
G. America’s Lowest Paid Somewhat-Big-City Mayor: Mayor to make $11.50 more than the lowest paid full-time City employee. The rest of the Mayor’s official salary, $105,000, will fund a 501© non-profit foundation, which will be a micro-bank making loans to sober homeless and low-income Tulsans to start businesses, grant start-up funds for new businesses in the Downtown and North Tulsa tax-free enterprise zones, and invest in corporations that are parent friendly, environmentally conscious, and the CEO don’t make a hundred million times the salary of the lowest employee. Corporate welfare for small businesses, not American Airlines. Allow news businesses in select downtown and North Tulsa enterprise zones to operate for the first three years tax-free.
H. No need to change the City Charter. The Mayor should lead the City Council as its at-large member, not be the water boy for the power brokers.
I. Encourage a stronger voice from the neighborhood associations. Offer zoning incentives to redevelop in-fill properties, especially the historic Sixth Street Corridor.
J. Re-establish the Tulsa Police bicycle patrol, beyond the auxiliary units, and significantly increase community-policing efforts in identified high-crime areas. Discourage the police from harassing Santa when he's driving a bicycle on the Broken Arrow Expressway. It's legal, ferchristsakes.
K. Integrate emergency response functions into the Fire Department. EMSA to retain routine medical transport. Saves overlapping, wasteful work by two agencies quietly squabbling for years out of public earshot.
L. Identify under-used City-owned vehicles, convert them to artcars, and auction them on VegBay to raise $3 million for an Olympic quality bicycle-racing track at Mohawk Park.
M. Every City employee allowed to join any organization. So long as no one impersonates my good friend, Kathy Taylor, by going to work in Versace drag. Cheapo Depo drag ok.
N. Encourage bat habitats along the Arkansas River. Bats are natural mosquito control. Austin has a world-class bat community which is a major tourist attraction.
O. Establish a real public access TV channel to encourage local original programming.
P. Tulsa the only city in Oklahoma to allow universal marriage. Mayor will preside over ceremonial moot weddings, kinda like moot court, for anyone over the age of 18. As long as no one tries to marry a gerbil. Monkeys ok.
4.) Who will you appoint to key positions within your administration?
David Arnett, Chief of Staff
Michael DelGiornio, Assistant Chief of Staff
Michael Bates, Arena Area Advisory Committee
Chris Medlock, the Fall Guy aka City Manager
Johnny O'Mara, Chief of Police
Barry Friedman, Press Secretary
Tom Baker, Citizen's Committee To Stop Insomnia
Bill LaFortune, Select Committee to Investigate Great Plains Airlines
Kathy Taylor, Commmittee To Improve The Fashionably Challanged Mayor
Don McCorkell, Vice-Mayor in charge of the Ethic Commission
Carroll Fisher, Chairman of the Oversight Committee on Ethics
Randi Miller, Honorary Mayor of the Tulsa Region and Oh-I-am-so-grateful-I-have-a-job lady
Ben Faulk, Committee to Draft Undocumented Workers into Military Service
Prophet Kelly, Mayor's personal minister
Accountability Burns, Mayor's personal advisor and drinking buddy
5.) How will you maintain a substantive ongoing conversation with Tulsa citizens?
Produce a reality TV show, "American Mayor." On 24/7 live cable and webcast, following the Mayor's every move.
Deploy the Mayor's Condom Commandos, dressed in battle dress uniforms, to concerts, night clubs, and other happening venues to promote safe sex and increased condom usage.
Kids’ Critical Mass To Improve Education: On the last Friday of every month during the summer, set up a tent on Memorial. Offer cold horchata, hot tamales, and GTA on PSP big screened on the LCD. U with me? Listen to what kids say about their schools and bring their concerns to the attention of Tulsa Public School management.
Be the Mayor For The People, Not The Power Brokers: Again on the last Friday of the month, switch jobs with another City employee. Mayor’s monthly Lunch Lottery: Submit your name in a lottery to have lunch with the Mayors. Mayor's Happy Hour, 4-7 p.m. to make Tulsa America's Chocolate Chip City. Invite Tulsans to the monthly midnight bike ride with the Mayors.
6.) Will you pledge not to lie, steal, cheat, or hang with those who do?
With right hand on the Bible, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
7.) Why should we trust you as Mayor of Tulsa?
You shouldn't. Anybody who trusts government officials is on the other side of stupid. The Founding Fathers were no dummies with the First and Second Amendments. Stick it to the Man.
8.) Is it true you are a convicted felon?
Yes, the case number is CF-2003-1575. My freedom was negotiated in front of Cheapo Depo, not Neiman-Marcus. Tulsa Police has also arrested me for spitting on the sidewalk, cussing, TRO 27 1405, and making a left turn without signalling while on a bicycle. On 17 February 2004, Oklahoma Highway Patrol arrested me at the State Capitol and charged me with outraging public decency, while I was attending the anti-gay rally. I was incarcerated for 61 days in Oklahoma County Jail, while my name remained on the ballot for Tulsa City Council District 9. 181 Tulsans voted for me. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!
Oops, I almost forgot the time I walked into the 81st Wal-Mart, with a dildo strapped atop my bicycle helmet. I had just finished doing a promo for Beef Baloney, need some cheap-ass frozen dinners for work, and stopped in. I forgot about the dildo. Wal-Mart pressed trespassing charges. Got dinged by Tulsa Police for that one too. Spend a night in Tulsa County Jail. Plead guilty to a misdemeanor trespassing charge in Tulsa County. Aaah, the life of a First Amendment terrorist. Ain't it grand?
9.) What is your favorite insult?
I have been called village idiot, bicycle boy, and terrorist assassin. Here's one from the Democrat forum. But, my fav--Paul Tay: proof positive intelligent design is a scam.
10.) Do you know someone might be trying to assassinate you?
Of course. Anyone who runs for public office should at least be aware of possible assassination attempts by the severely mentally deranged. Where I was born, Burma, political figures always prepare for assassinations. It's nothing new for me. I am taking precautions I am not at liberty to discuss.
11.) Are you gay?
No.
12.) What did you do in the Marine Corps?
Marines are first and foremost infantrymen, regardless of gender. Even band members are considered infantry. As for what I did for a job, aka MOS, I am not at liberty to disclose that information.
14.) What if I am broke?
Send a buck to Paul Tay, 102 N Denver, Tulsa, OK 74103. You must have at least a buck. Or Swipe a sign illegally placed on the public right-of-way. Make your own yard sign with this message: PIMP THIS TOWN VOTE PAUL TAY.
Nab a Kathy Taylor T-shirt. Use blue fabric paint to cover up the crud you won't need.
Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Elect Paul Tay Mayor of Tulsa:
10. From his experience in the U.S. Marine Corps Officers Candidate School, Quantico, VA, he can turn ANY bad situation into a good thing.
9. Read his lips: The Arena will NOT be a white elephant on my watch.
8. He will lead the City Council as its at-large member. Leave the Charter alone already!
7. After taking care of the basics, better streets, more police officers where crime occurs, and enforcing the no spitting ordinance, he will invest in technologies and policies to make city operations more efficient, City employees skinnier, and the Third Penny dead.
6. Corporate welfare for small businesses that relocate to enterprise zones in select Downtown and North Tulsa locations, not American Airlines.
5. Demand Bixby, Owasso, Broken Arrow, and Collinsville pay their fair share of their tax base back to Tulsa for benefits received because of the Regionalism policies.
4. He will be the best Mayor for Tulsa, not the best Mayor of Tulsa Jenks has ever had. In 2010, Tulsa will be a chocolate chip city, because of the monthly Mayor's Happy Hour, 4-7 p.m., serving chocolate chip cookies, java, and cheese whiz, on the last Friday of the month. Get it? Chocolate chip city? (Ok, this one bombed.)
3. Make Tulsa the number one tourist attraction for young professionals by implementing the "Make Tulsa Weird" campaign, similar to Keep Austin Weird.
2. He will personally make the Mayor's Report to City Council, unless there is a conflict with the Mayor's Monthly Bike Ride with Student Council Presidents of Tulsa's high schools. Then, Don McCorkell, Vice-Mayor, will be required to forego his happy hour at Baxter's and fill-in.
1. YOU WILL HAVE MORE SAFE SEX. (Reader Discretion Advised: Link May Not Be Suitable For Work, School, Or Government-owned terminals.)
Questions Submitted by Tulsa Today:
1.) Define Tulsa in 10 words or less.
Great for families, boring for young professionals.
2.) Define your vision for Tulsa’s future.
Make Tulsa the number 1 tourist destination for young professionals. Make the Arena profitable for Tulsa taxpayers. Make Tulsa Weird, modelled and plagarized, after the Keep Austin Weird campaign.
3.) How do you plan to pimp this town?
A. Stop with stupid, annoying TV and radio campaign ads already! You might get stuck behind a bicycling Santa with a “Santa For Mayor” sign for about ten seconds while driving, but there will be no annoying TV or radio ads from this campaign. Your campaign contributions pay for BATmobile fuel: cold horchata, hot tamales, and bananas.
B. Enforce Tulsa Revised Ordinance 51 3102.16 prohibiting street signs on the public right-of-way, or repeal it. There will be no illegal street signs from this campaign. While we are at it, let’s repeal the ordinance prohibiting the waving of the American flag while riding a bicycle, TRO 37 1007. But, keep the anti-spitting rule, TRO 27 1213, in place. Spitting in public is so gross!
C. The Arena will NOT be a white elephant on my watch. I will stake the reputation of the City of Tulsa, the success of my administration on the success of the Arena.
Get a real plan to make the Tulsa Arena profitable for the taxpayers who footed the construction bill, not some cheap-ass scam to make millions for a few, select powerbrokers.
Move the Mayor's Office out of City Hall and into the Arena, which will also serve as the Official Residence of the Mayor.
Fire the current management company, SMG, which also manages Tulsa’s competing venue, OKC Ford Center. That's like hiring Mike Case to manage your cheap-ass West Tulsa rat trap.
Organize a homegrown management team accountable to no one, except Tulsa taxpayers. Convene the Arena Area Advisory Committee, headed by MIT graduate, Michael Bates, to develop a neo-traditional, walkable, transit-oriented, mixed-use development surrounding the Arena.
Court sports entertainment, and corporate venues no other cities have courted.
Make Tulsa the Sumo Capitol of America.
Use the Arena as a film production studio, between major venues.
Identify under-used City-owned vehicles, convert them to artcars, and auction them on VegBay to raise $5 million to purchase world-class film production equipment to rival Dallas.
Offer independent film productions with at least $2 million budget the use of the Arena, if the production uses Tulsa in at least 50% of its location shoots.
Produce a TV reality show in the Arena for cable Pay-Per-View, fee-based webstreaming, and live audience, similar to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," involving a lucky contestant from Tulsa's sex offenders' list. All 18,000 seats will be auctioned on VegBay.com for the live audience. Name of the reality TV show: Who Wants To Be A Dead Man?
Plagarize the works of award-winning author Frank Chin. Draw him out in a nasty public fight on the web newsgroups. Produce Chicken-Cooped Chinaman: The Stand-up, the Opera, and the Musical. Challenge him to a boxing match at the Arena. Award-winning author versus The Mayor. The loser performs his latest work, in the buff, to a small live audience. No photography allowed. Auction tickets on VegBay.com.
D. Tulsa Energy, Transportation, and Employee Healthcare Policy: Every Tulsans eligible for initial tax incentives to install equipment to generate their own electricity. Every City building significantly reduces purchased electrical service. Encourage City employees who travel less than 3 miles for official business and don’t carry a load more than 15 pounds to walk or drive a bicycle. Use Tulsa Transit when possible. Cut utility rates by adopting Salem, Oregon's metered trash system. The more you pitch the more you pay.
E. Kids’ Critical Mass To Improve Education: On the last Friday of every month during the summer, set up a tent on Memorial. Offer cold horchata, hot tamales, and GTA on PSP big screened on the LCD. U with me? Listen to what kids say about their schools and bring their concerns to the attention of Tulsa Public School management.
F. A Mayor For The People, Not The Power Brokers: Again on the last Friday of the month, switch jobs with another City employee. Mayor’s monthly Lunch Lottery: Submit your name in a lottery to have lunch with the Mayors. Mayor's Happy Hour, 4-7 p.m. I want to make Tulsa a chocolate chip city. Drag your six into City Hall, get all the chocolate chip cookies you can stuff into your grocery bag, drink all the java you like, and leave a can of food for John 3:16. Invite Tulsans to the monthly midnight bike ride with the Mayors.
G. America’s Lowest Paid Somewhat-Big-City Mayor: Mayor to make $11.50 more than the lowest paid full-time City employee. The rest of the Mayor’s official salary, $105,000, will fund a 501© non-profit foundation, which will be a micro-bank making loans to sober homeless and low-income Tulsans to start businesses, grant start-up funds for new businesses in the Downtown and North Tulsa tax-free enterprise zones, and invest in corporations that are parent friendly, environmentally conscious, and the CEO don’t make a hundred million times the salary of the lowest employee. Corporate welfare for small businesses, not American Airlines. Allow news businesses in select downtown and North Tulsa enterprise zones to operate for the first three years tax-free.
H. No need to change the City Charter. The Mayor should lead the City Council as its at-large member, not be the water boy for the power brokers.
I. Encourage a stronger voice from the neighborhood associations. Offer zoning incentives to redevelop in-fill properties, especially the historic Sixth Street Corridor.
J. Re-establish the Tulsa Police bicycle patrol, beyond the auxiliary units, and significantly increase community-policing efforts in identified high-crime areas. Discourage the police from harassing Santa when he's driving a bicycle on the Broken Arrow Expressway. It's legal, ferchristsakes.
K. Integrate emergency response functions into the Fire Department. EMSA to retain routine medical transport. Saves overlapping, wasteful work by two agencies quietly squabbling for years out of public earshot.
L. Identify under-used City-owned vehicles, convert them to artcars, and auction them on VegBay to raise $3 million for an Olympic quality bicycle-racing track at Mohawk Park.
M. Every City employee allowed to join any organization. So long as no one impersonates my good friend, Kathy Taylor, by going to work in Versace drag. Cheapo Depo drag ok.
N. Encourage bat habitats along the Arkansas River. Bats are natural mosquito control. Austin has a world-class bat community which is a major tourist attraction.
O. Establish a real public access TV channel to encourage local original programming.
P. Tulsa the only city in Oklahoma to allow universal marriage. Mayor will preside over ceremonial moot weddings, kinda like moot court, for anyone over the age of 18. As long as no one tries to marry a gerbil. Monkeys ok.
4.) Who will you appoint to key positions within your administration?
David Arnett, Chief of Staff
Michael DelGiornio, Assistant Chief of Staff
Michael Bates, Arena Area Advisory Committee
Chris Medlock, the Fall Guy aka City Manager
Johnny O'Mara, Chief of Police
Barry Friedman, Press Secretary
Tom Baker, Citizen's Committee To Stop Insomnia
Bill LaFortune, Select Committee to Investigate Great Plains Airlines
Kathy Taylor, Commmittee To Improve The Fashionably Challanged Mayor
Don McCorkell, Vice-Mayor in charge of the Ethic Commission
Carroll Fisher, Chairman of the Oversight Committee on Ethics
Randi Miller, Honorary Mayor of the Tulsa Region and Oh-I-am-so-grateful-I-have-a-job lady
Ben Faulk, Committee to Draft Undocumented Workers into Military Service
Prophet Kelly, Mayor's personal minister
Accountability Burns, Mayor's personal advisor and drinking buddy
5.) How will you maintain a substantive ongoing conversation with Tulsa citizens?
Produce a reality TV show, "American Mayor." On 24/7 live cable and webcast, following the Mayor's every move.
Deploy the Mayor's Condom Commandos, dressed in battle dress uniforms, to concerts, night clubs, and other happening venues to promote safe sex and increased condom usage.
Kids’ Critical Mass To Improve Education: On the last Friday of every month during the summer, set up a tent on Memorial. Offer cold horchata, hot tamales, and GTA on PSP big screened on the LCD. U with me? Listen to what kids say about their schools and bring their concerns to the attention of Tulsa Public School management.
Be the Mayor For The People, Not The Power Brokers: Again on the last Friday of the month, switch jobs with another City employee. Mayor’s monthly Lunch Lottery: Submit your name in a lottery to have lunch with the Mayors. Mayor's Happy Hour, 4-7 p.m. to make Tulsa America's Chocolate Chip City. Invite Tulsans to the monthly midnight bike ride with the Mayors.
6.) Will you pledge not to lie, steal, cheat, or hang with those who do?
With right hand on the Bible, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
7.) Why should we trust you as Mayor of Tulsa?
You shouldn't. Anybody who trusts government officials is on the other side of stupid. The Founding Fathers were no dummies with the First and Second Amendments. Stick it to the Man.
8.) Is it true you are a convicted felon?
Yes, the case number is CF-2003-1575. My freedom was negotiated in front of Cheapo Depo, not Neiman-Marcus. Tulsa Police has also arrested me for spitting on the sidewalk, cussing, TRO 27 1405, and making a left turn without signalling while on a bicycle. On 17 February 2004, Oklahoma Highway Patrol arrested me at the State Capitol and charged me with outraging public decency, while I was attending the anti-gay rally. I was incarcerated for 61 days in Oklahoma County Jail, while my name remained on the ballot for Tulsa City Council District 9. 181 Tulsans voted for me. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!
Oops, I almost forgot the time I walked into the 81st Wal-Mart, with a dildo strapped atop my bicycle helmet. I had just finished doing a promo for Beef Baloney, need some cheap-ass frozen dinners for work, and stopped in. I forgot about the dildo. Wal-Mart pressed trespassing charges. Got dinged by Tulsa Police for that one too. Spend a night in Tulsa County Jail. Plead guilty to a misdemeanor trespassing charge in Tulsa County. Aaah, the life of a First Amendment terrorist. Ain't it grand?
9.) What is your favorite insult?
I have been called village idiot, bicycle boy, and terrorist assassin. Here's one from the Democrat forum. But, my fav--Paul Tay: proof positive intelligent design is a scam.
10.) Do you know someone might be trying to assassinate you?
Of course. Anyone who runs for public office should at least be aware of possible assassination attempts by the severely mentally deranged. Where I was born, Burma, political figures always prepare for assassinations. It's nothing new for me. I am taking precautions I am not at liberty to discuss.
11.) Are you gay?
No.
12.) What did you do in the Marine Corps?
Marines are first and foremost infantrymen, regardless of gender. Even band members are considered infantry. As for what I did for a job, aka MOS, I am not at liberty to disclose that information.
14.) What if I am broke?
Send a buck to Paul Tay, 102 N Denver, Tulsa, OK 74103. You must have at least a buck. Or Swipe a sign illegally placed on the public right-of-way. Make your own yard sign with this message: PIMP THIS TOWN VOTE PAUL TAY.
Nab a Kathy Taylor T-shirt. Use blue fabric paint to cover up the crud you won't need.
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