Since the race for Tulsa County DA began, Santa has been rolling TIM 4 DA sign all over town on his bike. In spite of all the angry motorists who might have voted against Tim because they were stuck in traffic behind his bike, Tim won! Yay!
4 more years! Keep up the good work, Tim.
A couple of observations: FOP93 picks Lemon #3. Hey, guys, as I said before, STICK TO WHAT YOU DO BEST AND LEAVE THE ENDORSEMENT TO THE PROS.
Tim is an outsider, meaning, he ain't from the Maple Ridge jetset and prosecutes cases on his terms. A couple weird cases but overall, fair.
And, Swab, next time, KEEP YER BUTT-UGLY SIGNS OFF MY PUBLIC RIGHT-OF-WAY.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
A Veiled Threat Against Santa?
Posted on Da Whirled
Rider clause
By Staff Reports
7/20/2006
Since an idiot bicyclist began riding down major thoroughfares during rush hours my life as a bicyclist is being threatened more and more. His latest "ego trip" was June 29 when, dressed up like Santa Claus, he tied up traffic for miles pedaling his bicycle on the Broken Arrow Expressway.
I have recorded more than 100,000 miles biking, running and swimming the past 25 years. My attitude when I do my daily 20-mile ride is that every motor vehicle I encounter would just as soon hit me as avoid me -- especially since this idiot began his quest for attention some years ago.
Even though I ride responsibly, some motorists go to great lengths to show their dislike for cyclists. I've had 64 ounce cups of pop thrown at me; I've had a motorist motion me to go ahead at a stop sign, then see how close he could come to nicking me with his car. A six-stitch gash in my hand taught me to politely refuse all those "go ahead" waves.
Please, motorists, realize there are many cyclists out there who are trying their best not to make you mad. We would like this biker who endangers lives with his desire for attention to be permanently removed from the streets as much as you would.
Bill Snyder, Tulsa
Santa's Reply:
Dear Mr. Snyder: Why don't you ask District Attorney Tim Harris to press charges against those who have acted criminally against you?
Blaming Santa will do no good. It will only cause him to ride more, and often. Santa is rolling TIM 4 DA signs. If the last sentence is a veiled threat, the District Attorney, Homeland Security, FBI, and the Tulsa Police Department are on notice. Santa's attorneys have acted accordingly to hold da Whirled responsible for conspiracy to commit murder.
UPDATE: I called Mr. Snyder, invited him to dinner and a bike ride on his birthday, 28 July. He refused both. Then, he tells me the attack incident occurred in 1999, fully three years before I appeared on the public scene. He didn't file a police report. Also, no motorists have attacked him recently. He rides every day, even in the heat, like Santa. Whatever. A geezer who needed to vent. Merry Christmas, Mr. Snyder.
Rider clause
By Staff Reports
7/20/2006
Since an idiot bicyclist began riding down major thoroughfares during rush hours my life as a bicyclist is being threatened more and more. His latest "ego trip" was June 29 when, dressed up like Santa Claus, he tied up traffic for miles pedaling his bicycle on the Broken Arrow Expressway.
I have recorded more than 100,000 miles biking, running and swimming the past 25 years. My attitude when I do my daily 20-mile ride is that every motor vehicle I encounter would just as soon hit me as avoid me -- especially since this idiot began his quest for attention some years ago.
Even though I ride responsibly, some motorists go to great lengths to show their dislike for cyclists. I've had 64 ounce cups of pop thrown at me; I've had a motorist motion me to go ahead at a stop sign, then see how close he could come to nicking me with his car. A six-stitch gash in my hand taught me to politely refuse all those "go ahead" waves.
Please, motorists, realize there are many cyclists out there who are trying their best not to make you mad. We would like this biker who endangers lives with his desire for attention to be permanently removed from the streets as much as you would.
Bill Snyder, Tulsa
Santa's Reply:
Dear Mr. Snyder: Why don't you ask District Attorney Tim Harris to press charges against those who have acted criminally against you?
Blaming Santa will do no good. It will only cause him to ride more, and often. Santa is rolling TIM 4 DA signs. If the last sentence is a veiled threat, the District Attorney, Homeland Security, FBI, and the Tulsa Police Department are on notice. Santa's attorneys have acted accordingly to hold da Whirled responsible for conspiracy to commit murder.
UPDATE: I called Mr. Snyder, invited him to dinner and a bike ride on his birthday, 28 July. He refused both. Then, he tells me the attack incident occurred in 1999, fully three years before I appeared on the public scene. He didn't file a police report. Also, no motorists have attacked him recently. He rides every day, even in the heat, like Santa. Whatever. A geezer who needed to vent. Merry Christmas, Mr. Snyder.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Redneck Rickshaw
So, what does one do to stay creative during the dog days of summer? Put a couch on two wheels and roll down the street, of course. I am working on a new toy for Santa to play with, Redneck Rickshaw.
A co-worker suggested the name. I thought I'd try to top it with various variations. Redneck Rolls Royce. Naaaaaah. Redneck Reck. Naaaaaaaaah. Redneck Rickshaw, it is. Look for the road-test soon! I'll be posting an instructable for it as I go along. Dog days of summer gone wild.
A co-worker suggested the name. I thought I'd try to top it with various variations. Redneck Rolls Royce. Naaaaaah. Redneck Reck. Naaaaaaaaah. Redneck Rickshaw, it is. Look for the road-test soon! I'll be posting an instructable for it as I go along. Dog days of summer gone wild.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Blog Interrupted. Down For The Count Due To Race Fever.
Cy'all in a couple of weeks, maybe more. With Lance gone bye-bye, this year's race fever is worse for me than the last 7 years. Doping scandal decimating over 25% of the field, there's a whole lot more money to lose to the bookies.
Hopefully, I won't lose too much, recover, and don't die! On second thought, maybe that might not be a bad way to go after all. Reality bites.
I finally scammed a LIVE daily video feed from a kindly gent posting on the Eurosport forum. OLN not required! On da Internet, ask and you shall receive. Most of the time. Anyways, yay for me and you too! Except ya might want to brush up on yer Deutsch. Hey, SHUDDUP. Beggers can't be choosers.
Stage 5 LIVE: 0310 CDT. Beauvais-Caen. 225km. Ouch. Sumbody's gonna git a big ole wart where da sun don't shine.
UPDATE 7 Jul: RTL video feed is DOWN. Help me out, race fans. I need another video feed without location license in Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
I missed most of Stage 6 except ultimo chilometro. Another sprint win for McEwen. Sounds like it was kinda wet. Couldn't really see. NO VIDEO. Crap.
New RTL video feed here!
Also, LIVE race telemetry. Sumbody's heart rate is ONLINE. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Stuff to keep dat lovin' feelin' between stages:
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SANTA UP TO? CLICK PIC TO FIND OUT!!
Wait, almost forgot I am supposed to be a devout Buddhist Jew and not to be talkin' to da bookies. I guess I really ain't that devout after all. What do the Buddhist Jews eat anyways? Help me out people!
The Buddhist Jew Manifesto:
1. Thou shalt not play Lotto. Jesus didn't. So, we won't either.
2. Thou shalt not flip the bird at cops, unless they agree to flip back. Learn dat from experience.
3. Thou shalt not visit houses of ill-repute. Crap. Dat's no fun.
R.I.P. Il Pirata
Fontaaaaaaaaaanelli!!!!
Miscellaneous Stuff They Won't Show On OLN
Hopefully, I won't lose too much, recover, and don't die! On second thought, maybe that might not be a bad way to go after all. Reality bites.
I finally scammed a LIVE daily video feed from a kindly gent posting on the Eurosport forum. OLN not required! On da Internet, ask and you shall receive. Most of the time. Anyways, yay for me and you too! Except ya might want to brush up on yer Deutsch. Hey, SHUDDUP. Beggers can't be choosers.
Stage 5 LIVE: 0310 CDT. Beauvais-Caen. 225km. Ouch. Sumbody's gonna git a big ole wart where da sun don't shine.
UPDATE 7 Jul: RTL video feed is DOWN. Help me out, race fans. I need another video feed without location license in Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA.
I missed most of Stage 6 except ultimo chilometro. Another sprint win for McEwen. Sounds like it was kinda wet. Couldn't really see. NO VIDEO. Crap.
New RTL video feed here!
Also, LIVE race telemetry. Sumbody's heart rate is ONLINE. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Stuff to keep dat lovin' feelin' between stages:
Wait, almost forgot I am supposed to be a devout Buddhist Jew and not to be talkin' to da bookies. I guess I really ain't that devout after all. What do the Buddhist Jews eat anyways? Help me out people!
The Buddhist Jew Manifesto:
1. Thou shalt not play Lotto. Jesus didn't. So, we won't either.
2. Thou shalt not flip the bird at cops, unless they agree to flip back. Learn dat from experience.
3. Thou shalt not visit houses of ill-repute. Crap. Dat's no fun.
R.I.P. Il Pirata
Fontaaaaaaaaaanelli!!!!
Miscellaneous Stuff They Won't Show On OLN
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Biking The BA
| Oregon Scientific ATC-1000. 15fps. Broken Arrow Expressway from Yale to Denver/Cheynne exits. Hey, MAC, ya need to send the Tree Nazis out to trim the tree on the shoulder, about to grow into the traffic lanes. | |
Mafia Fixin' Races?
Jean Marie LeBlanc, Director of the Tour de France, said on Saturday that cycling was threatened by a "mafia" and called for support from the police. "We are facing an entire criminal organisation," Tour director Jean-Marie Leblanc said in an interview in Geneva daily Le Temps. "We need the police and additional scientific means. I have the feeling we are dealing with a true mafia that's looking to make money, that fakes races. We are on the edge of criminality here."
Cycling's Black Friday
Well, people, if ya haven't heard it by now, da Kaiser and da Goat are OUT. DAMMIT. You race fans know who I'm talkin' 'bout. That's right, people. Jan Ullrich and Ivan Basso, the two big dogs of the Tour d'France 2006, are on two very very slow bus back to Germany and Spain and will NOT start.
Some of my thoughts on this whole affair: Look at 'em. Man, those spandex-clad Euro happy campers look like they couldn't afford their next meal. Skinny. Real skinny. Hollow cheeks. They look like those redneck NASCAR meth fiends from Sand Springs. OF COURSE, they are gonna need more than bread and water. GET A CLUE, people!
The legend himself, the Cannibal, Eddy Merckx, said it himself, "We can't race on bread and water alone." You know he wuz, oh crap, I can't even say it. But, ok, I will. He wuz dopin'.
Even Santa himself can't do all those miles without a little sumthin' extra, like a couple more tamales and chocolate chip cookies. Even me, back in the day, I would have gladly used some of the exotic stuff they are pumpin' into their veins today to boost the old O two, if they had been available. HMG-LEPORI, IGF-I, testosterone patches, growth hormones, EPO, and anabolic substances coordinated with blood transfusion. I just drank a whole lotta coffee before the big race, which really didn't do much good, 'cause ya had to go pee every couple of kilometers.
There's no way around it. Getting dropped off the back more than standing at the podium kissing the flower girl, the thought of droppin' stuff into da veins without gettin' caught has at the very least crossed EVERY single competitive cyclists' mind, even Lance Armstrong. And, if you deny it, yer LYING.
Well, 'nuff of dat rant. Back to da Tour, or what's left of it.
Some of my thoughts on this whole affair: Look at 'em. Man, those spandex-clad Euro happy campers look like they couldn't afford their next meal. Skinny. Real skinny. Hollow cheeks. They look like those redneck NASCAR meth fiends from Sand Springs. OF COURSE, they are gonna need more than bread and water. GET A CLUE, people!
The legend himself, the Cannibal, Eddy Merckx, said it himself, "We can't race on bread and water alone." You know he wuz, oh crap, I can't even say it. But, ok, I will. He wuz dopin'.
Even Santa himself can't do all those miles without a little sumthin' extra, like a couple more tamales and chocolate chip cookies. Even me, back in the day, I would have gladly used some of the exotic stuff they are pumpin' into their veins today to boost the old O two, if they had been available. HMG-LEPORI, IGF-I, testosterone patches, growth hormones, EPO, and anabolic substances coordinated with blood transfusion. I just drank a whole lotta coffee before the big race, which really didn't do much good, 'cause ya had to go pee every couple of kilometers.
There's no way around it. Getting dropped off the back more than standing at the podium kissing the flower girl, the thought of droppin' stuff into da veins without gettin' caught has at the very least crossed EVERY single competitive cyclists' mind, even Lance Armstrong. And, if you deny it, yer LYING.
Well, 'nuff of dat rant. Back to da Tour, or what's left of it.
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